Your website
needs a roast
Get savage, actionable feedback on your landing page. No sugar-coating. No fluff. Just the truth that'll help you convert.
First Impressions
What visitors actually think in the first 5 seconds
Conversion Killers
The exact reasons people bounce without buying
Quick Wins
Specific fixes you can implement today
Sample Roast
🔥 First Impression
"I landed on your page and genuinely had no idea what you sell. Your headline says 'Revolutionizing the future' — cool, so does every crypto scam. Tell me what you DO in 5 words or less."
💀 Conversion Killer #1
"Your CTA button says 'Get Started'. Get started with WHAT? A 14-day trial? A demo? Am I signing my soul away? Specificity converts. 'Start free trial' or 'Book a demo' — pick one."
⚡ Quick Win
"Add ONE customer testimonial above the fold. Real name, real photo, specific result. 'Increased conversions by 47%' beats 'Great product!' every time."
What founders are saying
"Called out 3 things I was blind to. Fixed them and saw a 23% conversion bump in 2 days. Best $19 I've spent this year."
"Brutal but accurate. My headline was garbage and my CTA was confusing. The roast didn't sugarcoat anything — exactly what I needed."
"I've paid $200+ for landing page reviews before. This was more actionable than most of them. Sometimes you just need the unfiltered truth."
- Detailed page analysis
- Specific, actionable fixes
- Delivered in minutes
- Roast saved to your email
Still on the fence? Let us roast that too.
"$19 is too expensive"
You're trying to build a business but $19 is the dealbreaker? That's less than a decent lunch. If your landing page converts even ONE extra customer, you've 10x'd your investment. But sure, keep guessing what's wrong.
"I'll just ask my friends"
Your friends will say "looks good!" because they love you. We don't love you. We'll tell you your headline is confusing, your CTA is weak, and your hero image looks like a stock photo from 2015. You're welcome.
"I can figure it out myself"
Cool. How's that been working out? Still wondering why visitors bounce in 3 seconds? Still tweaking that headline for the 47th time? Sometimes you need someone to just tell you what's broken.
"What if it's not good?"
Then you'll have a detailed list of exactly what to fix instead of vague anxiety about your conversion rate. That's called progress. The only bad outcome is staying stuck.
Look, we get it. Paying for feedback feels weird. But you know what feels worse? Spending months on a page that doesn't convert because nobody had the guts to tell you the truth.